Exploring Strategies for a Smoother Journey
Divorce is challenging on many fronts—financially, emotionally, and legally. However, employing the right strategies and understanding the power of mediation over litigation can significantly reduce these challenges. In this blog post, we’ll explore insights from Ella Hickman and Mat Walker, who discuss the power of mediation, the lengthy court delays, and how to manage emotions effectively through the process.
The Long Wait: Delays in Family Court Trials
One of the key points discussed is the significant delay in getting a trial date in family courts, especially in Perth, where it can take between three to five years. Mat mentioned that in Brisbane, the wait averages around a year and a half to two years, but Perth’s situation is substantially worse. This protracted timeline can lead to high financial and emotional costs.
Ella points out that the financial burden alone can amount to hundreds of thousands of dollars, but it is the emotional and time expenditure that truly take a toll. Years of litigation not only drain your resources but also greatly affect your emotional well-being and that of your children.
Mediation: A Preferred Alternative
The consensus is clear: if you can avoid going to trial, do so. But how?
Ella advocates for early advice and mediation. Getting preliminary guidance doesn’t necessarily mean you have to bring a lawyer to the mediation table. Instead, understanding potential outcomes and being better informed can significantly aid in negotiating more favorable terms during mediation. This helps you respond to offers and proposals more effectively.
She encapsulates this by saying, “Forewarned is forearmed.” Knowing what might be expected in a legal decision allows you to weigh the financial costs of not settling against the potential benefits of reaching an agreement.
Why Mediation is More Effective
Mediation brings the control back to the parents who know their children best. Ella emphasizes that nobody understands the needs of your children better than you and your former partner, not even a judge. Judges themselves often encourage the power of mediation, understanding that parents are better equipped to decide what’s best for their children.
Preparing for Mediation
Simply deciding to mediate isn’t enough. Preparation is crucial. Ella suggests that gathering as much relevant and recent information as possible is key. This preparation includes:
- Financial Assessments
: Ensure all current values of your property and assets are up to date.
- Current Situations
: Obtain recent evidence, like drug tests if applicable, and assess your financial and practical capacities.
- Understand Likely Outcomes
: Know the range of possible outcomes to better gauge fair offers.
By entering power of mediation with this information, you place yourself in a stronger position to negotiate effectively, often sparing yourself from protracted litigation and its associated costs.
Managing Emotions During Divorce
Mat and Ella also delve into the emotional landscape of divorce. Divorce can often be one of the hardest experiences people go through. As Ella advises, surround yourself with a “village” of support—whether that be friends, family, or therapeutic professionals. This support system can offer emotional stability and a sounding board for your thoughts and feelings.
Practical Tips for Managing Communication
- Keep it Professional
: Treat interactions with your ex-spouse like a business relationship. This helps in removing emotional triggers from communications.
- Have Written Agreements
: Having set policies can take heat out of everyday logistical conversations about parenting and financial responsibilities.
- Think Before You Speak
: Always consider how your words might look if they ended up in a courtroom. As per Ella’s advice, imagine everything you say or write to your ex-partner ending up in front of a judge. Would you be comfortable with that?
Final Thoughts
No one walks into a divorce expecting it to be easy, but by leveraging the power of mediation and managing emotions constructively, the process can become less daunting. As Ella encapsulates, the goal is to get through the process as quickly and as smoothly as possible.
There is light at the end of the tunnel. Mat concludes by affirming that there can indeed be a better life post-divorce. Embracing practical strategies and emotional coping mechanisms can lead to this new beginning.
Understanding these insights and applying them in your divorce journey can make a world of difference. For more expert advice and real-life stories, tune in to Divorce Down Under.
Your Thoughts?
Have you been through a divorce? What strategies worked for you? Let us know in the comments or share your thoughts on our podcast, Divorce Down Under. Do you have a specific topic you’d like us to address? We’d love to hear from you!
